Somewhere Along The Line

You Lost Yourself

I don't understand how someone can treat you so badly. 

You do everything you can to help this person, because you care about them, and they just treat you like 

you're nothing. 

I have a hard time trusting people as it is, but you just made it a whole lot worse. 

I'm the kind of person that is going to ask you a question when I already know the answer. 

I do it to see how truthful you are. And once you lie to me, chances are I will never trust you the same. 

It took me a long time to build trust with you. And within seconds, you crumbled all of it. 

I know I don't completely understand your life, and I probably never will. But best friends aren't here to judge you. They're here to make things a little easier on you.

I never said I wanted to know EVERYTHING that goes on in your life. But I never expected you to lie to me like you did. More than once. 

The first time you lied, I was so forgiving. And I put all my feelings to the side because you needed me.

You needed someone to help you. And I did. Even though I had the HARDEST time trusting you. I put ALL my feelings to the side and I was your best friend because you needed me to be.

Was that not enough for you? 

Was the fact that I completely FLIPPED my life around in a matter of seconds for you, not enough to show that I was a good friend? 

You didn't just lie to me once, you lied to me a good three or four times after that. All about the same thing.

And to this day, you still don't know that I know you lied. Because I'm too good of a friend to call you out on something like that more than once. 

If you want to keep lying to me, that's your choice. But if you're reading this, just know that I still question almost everything you say to this day. 

My trust for you is so small right now. 

And I'm too scared to let it build back up because every time I do, you lie again. And this time, I don't have a way to figure out if you're lying or not. 

It's not just the lying that bugs me either, so don't think that.

It really bugs me that I spent hundreds of dollars on you to help you get out of a bad situation, and not even a full month later, you went back to the situation when we both know nothing is going to change. 

I was so happy that I could help you, so happy. And the second I did, it basically felt like you weren't very grateful. Sure, you typed it a few times. But you never looked straight at me and said thank you. 

If you wanted to be back in that situation, that's fine. It's your choice, not mine. But I don't know how you expect me to be here and support the choice, when I did SO MUCH to get you out. 

I wasn't keeping you here if you didn't want to be here, so don't think that. 

But if you never wanted to be here, you shouldn't of let me spend all that money, and have all my family do all of the things they did to get you here. 

Another thing that really gets me, is how you let these guys control your life.

You know for a FACT that one of them isn't real, and he treats you like garbage, so why keep him around? 

The other ones just aren't respectful of you, I know you think they are, but they aren't. At all. 

And let me say this. If my boyfriend chose to talk about you the way that guy talks to you about me, he WOULDN'T be my boyfriend anymore. Because I respect you too much as my best friend to let someone talk about you that way. 

So is it okay for you to keep him around when he talks about me that way? Because really that doesn't show me that you care about me very much anyways. He's 100 % fake, and I'm 100 % real. So that just goes to show what side you take out of this.

I don't know what has happened to you in the past that has put you to this point. Because there is a lot more I could talk about, that I won't.

But just know, that you are pushing your best friend out the door.

And if you want to keep her around, I seriously hope you own up to EVERYTHING sometime soon.

Because I can't take all of this emotional pain anymore. 

And during all of this, did you ever think to ask how I was dealing with all of it? 

Or did you just assume because it was my life that it didn't effect me? 

Thought so.